Boredom and Chocolate
by Nexlei
Summary: Strange things happen when you eat too much chocolate. Especially if your names happen to be Roxas and Axel. AU
1. Boredom and Chocolate

Me: hi…

Riku: she is sorry for not updating Camp Highwind for a long time

Me: no… I mean… YES

Riku: so she wrote this

Me: actually I got this idea from a reviewer, it was mentioned in Camp Higwind, and I suddenly decided to elaborate… so here it is

Riku: Nexlei dose not own any of the kingdom hearts games and/or any of the other random references

Boredom and Chocolate

It was a sunny day in Twilight town, the kind of day that you would see children running through the streets, attempting to do insane skateboard tricks, that they could never actually pull off. It was the kind of day that you would expect to see the twitching faces of kids who had had a _little_ too much Sea-Salt ice cream.

And all of these above facts were true… very true, with the tiny exception of two boys, a pyro maniac, and a blonde boy with way too much time on his hands. Both sat on the top of one of the buildings that looked out across the plaza, bored out of their minds…

How can anyone be bored on such a nice and fun filled day? Well they had run out of things to burn, and that did put a big damper on things… to be more exact, they hadn't run out of things to burn, that would never happen, but they had been stripped of all of there matches and lighters, and pretty much any object that could start a fire, after the little incident that involved Axel's sister's underwear, some matches and a large fiery pit… don't ask.

"I'm so bored," Axel complained, kicking the back of his shoes against the building that his feet dangled over.

"Me to," Roxas said dully as he watched a kid try to skateboard (and fail miserably).

"Entertain me," Axel mumbled looking up at the clouds hoping that a pack of matches would fall from the sky.

"No," Roxas said running his hands through his hair.

"Dance monkey dance," Axel said pointing to Roxas.

"No," Roxas said, shaking his head.

"Well than what do we do," Axel asked, while mentally imagining monkeys dancing.

"We can go to the library and look up random dirty subjects," Roxas suggested.

"Nope, were banned remember…" Axel snickered, thinking of why they were banned.

"I told you that those books were flammable…" Roxas said, sighing.

"Wasn't that the point?" Axel said a glimmering his eyes as he remembered the incident.

"Lets get some Sea-Salt ice cream than," Roxas said, he was addicted to the Popsicles.

"If I eat any more of those I will die…" Axel said, since they were Roxas's and everyone else in Twilight Town's favorite food, or dessert, he had had a lot of them.

"Well than, lets just go SOMEWHERE," Roxas said, yawning. Axel nodded and the two got up and climbed down a nearby ladder. Once on the ground they started to walk up the road onto Main Street.

"This is boring," Axel whined as they passed the candy shop.

"Yes it is," Roxas said. Looking up to see a few little girl scouts selling candy… chocolate to be exact.

"Hey lets buy some chocolate," Roxas said happy that he had thought of something interesting to do.

"Ok," Axel said and the two approached the girl scouts.

"Hi, can we have two of the dark chocola…" Axel was cut off by a high-pitched, girly scream that came from the children.

"AHHHHHHHH IT'S THE GUY WHO BURNT DOWN THE CHILDREN'S SECTION" One of the Girls screamed.

"Look… you see that was an accident…" Axel began.

"HELP IT'S THE MANIAC," She screamed.

"He only meant to burn one…" Roxas said.

"Please don't hurt us," The girls whimpered in fear.

"All we want is some chocolate," Axel said pulling out some money.

"Ok… have the chocolate," The girls screamed showing three wagons filled to the top with chocolate at Axel and Roxas, who looked at each other puzzled. When they looked up they saw that the girls had run away as fast as the laws of physics would allow them to.

"… So… we have lots of chocolate now" Axel said.

"Yah," Roxas said… they glanced from the chocolate than back to each other.

"We should get this out of here before someone accuses us of stealing it," Roxas said, looking around, to see people staring at them for having all those carts full of chocolate.

"Right, lets go to your house," Axel suggested, Roxas nodded and they pulled the chocolate as quickly as they could to Roxas's house… his back yard to be more precise. As soon as they go there they both fell to the ground as looking like they had just carried fifty elephants across the town.

"So… that a lot of chocolate…" Axel commented.

"Yah…" Roxas said.

"Over five hundred bars," Axel added looking at his friend wondering what to do.

"Well what do you want us to do… eat them all," Roxas asked sarcastically… not knowing that his idea had sparked the thought of one of Axel's most interesting plans yet.

"YES," Axel announced.

"What," Roxas asked surprised and looked over at his friend expecting to see sarcasm written all over his face, but found only the look in his eyes that said that a very shiny light bulb had just turned on.

"For the sake of science, we, the brave experimenters shall perform an experiment," Axel said trying to sound like a brilliant scientist who had just saved the world from mutant sea squirrels.

"What kind of experiment," Roxas asked not sure whether to be really excited, or really, really, really scared.

"We will see how much chocolate it is possible for you to eat with ought going into shock… or something," Axel said, Roxas looked at him as if he was brilliant… that was the best idea that Axel had ever come up with (well the best idea that didn't involve a blow torch and a rubber band).

The two gave each other a glance and walked over to the chocolate bars, quickly taking off the wrapping, they shoved the chocolate in their mouths.

"Chocolate bar one… we are still alive…" Axel said as if he was recording himself, and continued to stuff his face.

Fifteen minutes later, they were still eating the chocolate at the same rate, and were beginning to feel the effect of the sugar coming into there blood streams.

"Guess what… I LOVE THE NUMA NUMA SOMG," Roxas shouted in between bites of chocolate, he shoved his hands in the air and imitated the fat guy who danced to the song.

"That guy makes my sister horny," Axel laughed while fidgeting.

"How would you know…" Roxas asked his eyes wide.

"I have my ways…" Axel replied, and Roxas laughed much louder than any same person would.

"I heard that chocolate makes you horny…" Roxas said.

"And where did you hear that," Axel asked, knowing the answer.

" The internet of course," Roxas said proudly.

"The Internet is really really great… FOR PORN," Axel sang the song that he had heard online, and continued to shove as much of the chocolate down his throat as possible.

And this conversation continued for an hour. By then they were utterly sugar high.

"ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES," Roxas shouted at the top of his lungs and giggled madly at his wittiness.

"But I'm the one that always starts them… I think I let good old Smokey down…" Axel said, looking at the chocolate bar in his hands.

"Why is he called Smokey anyway," Roxas asked.

"Maybe it is some kind of a communist conspiracy," Roxas said.

"Are their Russian spy's involved…" Axel asked.

"Maybe…"

"Can I be the super badass spy who tries to crack into the governments secret files," Axel asked.

"Oh my goodness… I think I was in those files once…" Roxas said.

"Really," Axel asked.

"Yah… it was called world leaders porn…" Roxas said, and than proceeded to tell Axel every detail of the website… "And than I was like… how the hell could a fifty year old guy do that…"

"That's a good question," Axel said, rubbing his chin and falling onto the grass, which was littered with around fifty chocolate wrappers.

Three hours later, they were still eating… though it had become increasingly difficult, no, it wasn't that they weren't hungry… but there hands were twitching so much it was very difficult to hold the bars long enough to eat them.

"I wish I was an Oscar Mayer weener… that is what I would truly like to be… because if I was an Oscar Mayer weener everyone would be in love with me," Roxas sang the hotdog song as he laughed crazily… to much sugar dose that to people…

"I hate hotdogs," Axel mumbled, his face was smudged with chocolate. And the two sat quietly for a few minutes.

"Blonde girls are really hot," Roxas blurted out randomly.

"I saw a monkey in a blonde wig on TV once," Axel said.

"Was she hot," Roxas asked, being a moron who was not thinking strait.

"For a girl no… for a monkey, yes," Axel said.

"So would you do it with her," Roxas asked.

"I think she was a monkey… I don't know how to do it with monkeys," Axel said.

"You know what's really really good… CHOCOLATE," Roxas said his eyes rolling around in circles like a crazy person.

"Yah," Axel said shoving some into his mouth.

Roxas nodded his head happily, before his eyes rolled up one last time and he went crashing to the ground, fallowed closely by Axel. The chocolate had gotten the best of them…

The two lay on the ground passed out. And that was exactly how whey were found by Roxas's parent's, who came home about three hours after this whole ordeal.

To summarize the events from here on, Roxas's parents decided that it would be in his best interest if he would spend some time away from Axel for a little while… so they came up with the brilliant plan of sending him to summer camp for the next two weeks…

A/n this is really short, but it was fun to write. Hope you like it… and I will update Camp Highwind soon. I would love to get lots of reviews for this… hint hint


	2. Styrofoam Cups

Me: hello welcome to chapter two

Riku: she felt like being a moron, so she turned this one shot into many one shots

Me: ummm... yah

Riku: Nexlei does not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the other random refrences.

Me: but i do own this cup of coffee (holds up coffee)

Riku: r-a-n-d-o-m

Me: whatever on with this story

Styrofoam Cups

Roxas stared at the red can from across the room. His eyes radiating concentration and his nose scrunching up, in frustration. Bo he was not having a staring contest with an inanimate object… that would be silly, instead our buddy Roxas was attempting to harness his nonexistent telekinetic powers and move the small can of Coke to the table in front of him… with his mind.

Yes Roxas was lazy. Well when it came to getting drinks anyway. He glared at the can as if he was mad at it for not moving to him. He was really thirsty after all. But as always Roxas's laziness won out and he stubbornly refused to move from his position at the kitchen table to get up and walk all the way across the kitchen to get the drink. He didn't need it… that's what he told himself.

The can was taunting him (in the most taunting way a can could… it is inanimate after all). He wanted to drink the sweet and fizzy drink so bad… so so so bad. So thirsty he was. So lazy he was…

Just to inform you, Roxas was not the usual lazy type that sat around all day, and never did anything for the betterment of anyone. He was not fat, and he did not sit on the couch all day watching the same game show rerun from the seventies over and over. No, that was not he. His laziness was very selective.

And it just so happens that we have caught him in a lazy mood. So here we have it… a blonde boy staring at a can.

I guess that his would be a good place to end our little short story, since the author too is feeling rather lazy, and she has already clearly described what Roxas was doing and why. But the important part of this short story is not in what Roxas was doing during that one lazy moment it was what will happened next.

By what will happen next of course I meant when Axel suddenly burst through the door, snapping Roxas out of his lazy stupor.

"Hey Roxas," Axel said taking a seat across from him at the kitchen table comfortably, as if he owned Roxas's house himself.

"Hi" Roxas said, "would you mind getting that soda for me," Roxas said pointing at the can of Coke that lay across the kitchen.

"Like hell… it's your house and I'm a guest," Axel pointed out, leaning the chair back on two legs and attempting to balance himself.

Roxas sighed and finally gave in, he heaved himself off his spot on the chair and got the soda while the 'guest' spontaneously knocked himself and the chair strait backwards (note to children leaning back on two legs of a chair and trying to balance yourself with out holding on to anything will end in a disaster… trust me).

"So buddy how have you been, we haven't had a chance to hang out to much since you got back from camp a week ago," Axel started, picking himself and the chair off the ground.

"Axel… we saw each other every day since I got back," Roxas commented, shaking his head at his friend's exaggeration.

"Yes but we haven't don anything… flashy…" Axel said, meaning that he was in a pyro mood. Nothing new really.

"I can't today," Roxas said with a sad look on his face, he did enjoy the flashy-ness that always came with his and Axel's schemes.

"If you are skipping out on me because you arranged a phone call with that Namy-noodle what's her name girlfriend that I have yet to meet, even though I'm your best friend…than I hate to have to say this to you but your whipped"

"It's Namine, and no, mom is making me help with Larxene's stupid party, because of that prank we pulled last month" Roxas said, after taking a drink of his soda. Larxene was Roxas's sister; she was a year older than him and thought that he was 'a little brat' (not the most creative way to insult you brother… but she will work on it for the future). Anyway, last month, Roxas and Axel had thought it would be fun to reenact some crazy old protest for something or other by burning his sister's underwear in a fiery pit.

It was made of that freaky synthetic stuff that sparks when it burns… it was quite the show.

Well anyway, now the lazyish boy was being forced to help out with his sister's party. So it would be he who would be the slave dog running around, and buying all of the preparations needed for the party from the supermarket… the dullest place on earth (unless you're a starving hobo).

"Aww that sucks," Axel said, thinking of a way to go around this situation and possibly still have an interesting day.

"Yes," Roxas said.

"I know… I could come to the supermarket with you and we can buy a loaf of wonder bread… and than set it on fire in one of the carts in the parking lot," Axel declared like it was the most brilliant thing in the world… he declares things like this for all of his ideas… even the dumb ones.

"No that would be just stupid, and if mom found out…" Roxas couldn't finish the sentence in fear of his mother's punishment.

If it were any other person reacting to the idea of being punished by a parent in that way… than one might suspect child abuse… but not in Roxas's case, he was simply afraid of being sent on stupid, boring and time consuming errands… again… for that was the worst punishment for a person like him.

The two sat in silence for a minute trying to think of a way to still have a fun day. It was than that Axel had a revelation.

"Roxas… you sister's favorite soda is root beer right," He asked in a cheery voice that clearly had something behind it.

"Yes, ummm poison is not an option… no matter how dreadful my sister can be… I'm not that evil," Roxas said, both excited about the new idea Axel was about to tell him, and terrified at the same time.

"Styrofoam cups," Axel said as if it was the meaning of life, or the answer to some big question (what came first the chicken or the egg? Why styrafoam cups of course).

"Ummm what exactly do we plan on doing with the Styrofoam cups?" Roxas said expecting some sick answer that would make him regret drinking his coke.

"Serve the root beer," Axel snickered.

Yes he had finally cracked, Roxas thought, Axel had gone off his rocker, and he had lost whatever marbles he had had to start with. How on earth was this going to be entertaining?

"So were going to be waiters," Roxas said confused

"No, your going to be buying the supplies right… so when you do get Styrofoam cups instead of plastic or paper," Axel said sill not explaining fully.

"WHY," Roxas shouted with a short temper.

"Well, I learned in science class that there is a certain non-harmful- to- drink acid in root beer that causes it to eat right through Styrofoam…" Axel declared happily.

"So my sister and her friends are going to drink it and than think that they are being killed by the acid in the cups," Roxas said catching on, "and panic".

"Yes," Axel said smirking.

"Brilliant," Roxas said.

So it was decided between them that they would play this prank on poor unsuspecting Larxene and all of her friends. Oh it was good to be a prankster… so fulfilling… anyway…

Supermarket

Axel went with Roxas to the supermarket, just for the sake of feeling like he was in on the action of the plan, even though that the plan actually required no sneaking around like there usual ones, it was still somewhat exciding walking down the isle past the paper and plastic cups, and than proudly placing the Styrofoam ones next to the five bottles of root beer.

It would be an interesting party, and Roxas had of course asked his parents if Axel could hang out with him upstairs later that night so he could see the brilliant effects of there plan too.

"Its not to late for the wonder bread idea," Axel said as Roxas pushed the cart filled with party things past the bread section.

"Moron," Roxas said to his friend knowing that Axel would not rest until they eventually did burn that wonder bread out in the parking lot… maybe in another chapter.

The Party

Yes I skipped a few hours, but nothing really interesting happened during that time except for some decorating and several staring contests between Roxas and Axel.

One by one all of Larxene's guests arrived. It was a relatively small party compared to some, it only had about twelve guests.

Roxas and Axel were sitting diligently by the root beer and styrofoam cups. They knew that they had to have perfect timing to cause mass panic.

If it was only one person who thought that they had just drunk poison than it would be nowhere near as fun as confusing an entire group of people. The disorder that their antics would soon cause would go down in history.

So the plan was to wait until all of the guests where there, than to pour all thirteen drinks (twelve guests plus one Larxene equals thirteen… Roxas's lucky number) into the cups and serve them on a tray all at once to the guests.

Based on a test run that Roxas and Axel had preformed, they had around forty five seconds to get all of the drinks out before the acid ate through the cups.

The old clock in the living room chimed eight times just as the last guest arrived. Roxas gave a small nod to Axel and lined up all of the cups for easy poring.

Axel unscrewed the top of the bottle and poured all thirteen cups to the top with root beer.

With a smirk Roxas lifted the tray that the drinks sat on and carried them to the living room, handing them out to all of the guests as quickly as he could (sometimes it seemed forcefully).

Roxas had handed out all of the cups in under thirty seconds. Axel than handed him a Styrofoam cup filled with root beer that he had poured while Roxas was handing out the other thirteen.

The boy's smiled at each other and clinked their cups together with the word cheers, said, and than they each chugged their cups until there wasn't a drop left.

"Five… Four…three…two…one," Axel counted down, literally half a second after that, there was a complaining voice on the other side of the room about a defective cup, than another, and another…

Larxene, not being too stupid, figured that it was almost impossible that all of the cups be defective, so she quickly lifted up the cup to get a good look at the bottom, to see where the leek was.

What she saw made her gasp… not a girly little weak gasp… but a WERE GOING TO DIE gasp. At the bottom of her cup she saw a small hole where the leak was… but it was SPREADING… the cup was getting eaten away.

"T-t-the drink… its got ACID," She dropped her cup, which cleanly broke apart on the floor after being weakened by the root beer.

All around them, the teenagers were screaming, and shaking in fear. Roxas and Axel found this to be a good time to practice there acting skills, as they put "panicked" faces on and began running in circles like headless chickens moments after there head was cut off.

At some point someone must have called nine one one. The ambulance and police came with there flashing red lights and sirens, it of course only scared the teens even more… one even fainted… the funny thing is that it was a guy… named Lexaeus.

"We are here to help you everyone calm down," A police officer said as he led some of the teens to an ambulance waiting in front of the house.

A while before the police arrived Roxas's parents, had herd the commotion and came down expecting to be giving Roxas a lecture... but instead they had walked into a display of chaos curtsey of the "poisoned" teens. The look on there faces... if only words were able to describe it.

Meanwhile Roxas and Axel were pretending to be panic stricken and were both fake hyperventilating as if they had some kind of breathing problem. The paramedics and police guided him and Axel to an ambulance since they too had been "poisoned".

It had to have been one of the most glorious pranks ever pulled…

Hospital

Roxas and Axel lay in two hospital beds with their hands behind their heads as if they were the kings of the world. Of course if anyone was to come in they would fake believe that they were going to die (Roxas had even managed a few fake tears for some of the paramedics).

"We should get an Emmy… or an Oscar… or whatever the name of the award for best actor is," Axel proclaimed happily.

"You would think that the poison experts would have figured it out at a glance… but I guess not," Roxas said referring to the slowness of the experts… well Roxas figured that when you are faced with such a big problem such as life threatening acid in soda, than sometimes you are too busy looking at the small things that you miss the big truth. Wow Roxas's thoughts actually made sense… he had to tell Namine. He smiled to himself.

The door creaked and Roxas and Axel turned their smiles to death scared frowns. In walked a doctor with a smile on his face… a smile that made you think that he was about to tell you that unicorns and fairies actually did exist. Yes it was obvious that this guy ether had too much coffee… or was high.

"Great news… Root beer always eats through Styrofoam like that because of a non harmful acid in it… so you're not dying," The doctor said. His smile made sense now… it was the kind of smile he gave to the people who thought that they were dying but actually weren't.

"Hurray" Roxas shouted trying to sound gleeful, and happy, like he didn't know a thing. Axel smiled what he wanted to be a smile of relief… They had fooled everyone again.

a/n Hello readers. About the styrofoam cup thing... i'm not sure if it actually works. But i have heard about something like this actually happening and people thinking that they were poisoned. So i wrote about it. i will be turrning this story into a bunch of funny one shots. I hope you have enjoyed it. Review... please (don't make me beg).


	3. The Baseball Game

Me: hi everyone, guess what. I'm not dead

Riku: contrary to popular belief, Nexlei did not get hit by a flying truck and plunge into a sad death… she was just to lazy to write anything

Me: no Riku, you mean to _buisy_ to update

Riku: suuurrre

Me: heh actually that's true… anyway I just thought that I would tell you all, that I don't really know anything about baseball so before you criticize me remember that I warned you.

Riku: why are you writing about it than?

Me: well… it was on the telly, and it gave me an idea and… yeah, I don't have anything to explain to you, you're just a figment of Noruma's imagination.

Riku: ouch… anyway Nexlei does not own Kingdom Hearts or any other random references.

Me: Before I start this chapter, here is a warning… do not try to do any of the crazy things in the story… they won't end as well in real life as they do in my imagination

Me: right anyway, here is a chapter

The Baseball Game

It was swirly and covered in sprinkles. It was sweet and creamy. It was cold… oh so very cold. The Red headed boy smiled down at his beloved cup of chocolate ice cream. Nothing on earth beat chocolate ice cream. It was the perfect treat for those hot summer days in which you were forced to so something that you really didn't want to do, days like today.

He and Roxas were at a sports event. Not just any sports event, it was known throughout the town as "Twilight Town's second favorite past time". Of course I am referring to baseball, which comes in second to the struggle. Why the town had to give it such a gay title? No one knows.

Anyway, Axel and Roxas were currently seated at a baseball game. Imagining them sitting at a game like that hurts you mind doesn't it? They don't seem like the kind of boys who would go down to the good old baseball stadium to watch a game of ball do they.

Well, that was mainly because they weren't the kind old boys who would go down to the good old stadium and watch a baseball game.

To start off, Axel hated hot dogs and they were EVERYWHERE in baseball stadiums. But more importantly, why would Axel be sitting down is an uncomfortable plastic seat, when he could be off elsewhere setting off explosions in random people's mailboxes. Heh heh heh.

Roxas had another reason to not be there. He did not like peanuts, period. You know how the peanut guy always throws the peanuts at people who order them. Well the local peanut guy either has really bad aim, or really hated Roxas, because every time he tried to throw a pack of peanuts to a customer he ended up pelting Roxas in the face.

But still, even though both obviously had many reasons why not to be sitting in this exact stadium, there they were, the town pyromaniacs, sitting in the uncomfortable plastic seats and waiting for the long baseball game to start.

Axel was eating chocolate ice cream as stated before, if there was one thing that this place did right, it was having chocolate ice cream, instead of the Sea- Salt Ice Cream that seamed to plaque the rest of the town. Maybe that was why Baseball was only Twilight Town's second favorite past time, because they did not have a Sea- Salt Ice Cream stand in the stadium, like The Struggle had next to the platform.

In case no one caught on yet, Axel was the only one in the town who was resistant to the utterly addictive powers of Sea- Salt Ice Cream. Even poor Roxas was a casualty to this over abused substance (no it isn't a drug, but still, everyone in Twilight Town is just a little too addicted…).

"Remind me again why were here," Roxas said as he got slammed in the face with another bag of peanuts, thus leaving peanut shaped mark on his forehead.

"We have already been over this," Axel grumbled, "Mom won the tickets at bingo night and she didn't want them to go to waist," Axel leaned back against his un-comfy plastic chair, knowing the question that was coming next, in fact, it seemed that they repeated this conversation every time that Roxas got hit in the face with a bag of peanuts (five and counting).

"And why did your mom go to bingo night," Roxas insisted, in an irritated voice, even though he already knew the answer.

"It was for charity, something about preventing wild fires," Axel sighed, when he thought about it, his mom had probably gone to the 'stop the evil fires of doom that are killing cute little woodland skunks' thing because she felt that she needed to give back to the community, undo, or repent for his little habbit (that being burning everything in sight).

Roxas ducked as another peanut bag went soaring at his face. 'Hahaha fat old peanut man didn't get me this time' he thought in a proud manner.

"I can't believe that there is not Sea- Salt Ice Cream stand here," Roxas complained.

"Suffering withdrawal already," Axel laughed, "it's only been an hour since you had one last,"

"This place is evil," Roxas muttered staring shakily at the peanut man.

"Well the chocolate ice cream is pretty good," Axel said taking another spoonful of his chocolate and chocolate sprinkle ice cream and shoving it into his mouth. Yes the chocolaty sprinkle goodness may have been the only reason that he hadn't taken out his lighter and torched the entire stadium (hahaha just kidding he wouldn't do that, too much paper work… Axel hates paperwork… though it is pretty flammable… thus leading to more paperwork, and you all see where this is going)

Almost immediately after he said that, the announcer, who sounded freakishly perky declared the start of the game. Oh joy, they get to spend the next few hours of there life watching grown men run around a square (the guy who invented baseball had deemed it a diamond… but I say LIES… or maybe it was just the angle of the camera filming that game that I was watching…).

"Want to play a game," Axel asked Roxas, who was sinking lower and lower into his seat as he saw the peanut guy getting near again.

"…Does it involve pain," Roxas asked, yes being pelted with peanuts would put anyone in a pessimistic mood.

"No," Axel stared at his friend who had scratches all over his face from the many peanuts thrown his way, "I was thinking more along the lines or 'I spy'".

"Oh," Roxas answered laughing a little, "you go first,"

"Ok… I spy with my sexy eye something blue," Axel said his gaze landing on a not so skinny person a few rows down, wearing a blue hat.

"Hmmm is it the blue hat that the morbidly obese guy is wearing," Roxas guessed correctly, when you were best friends for as long as Roxas and Axel had been, it was always easy to tell what the other person was talking about without any explaining.

"Yep, your turn," Axel said shifting in his seat which was not getting any more comfy.

"I spy with my pretty little blue eye something ummm," Roxas thought out loud, but was quickly snatched to attention when he noticed a big white looking ball coming directly towards them, "Something big and round coming right towards us," he was barley able to finish his sentence before… he saw a mess of chocolate ice cream going up in the air in every direction…

The baseball from the game had been hit into the stadium and had landed in Axel's ice cream sending it flying in every which direction, in all of its cold glory.

"NOOOOOOOO," Axel screamed over dramatically when he looked down at the beloved ice cream that he had been enjoying. It was the only reason that he had been able to keep his sanity at this ludicrous sporting event… and now it was gone. There was a chocolate ice cream covered baseball in his cup and the ice cream had splattered pretty much everywhere in the stadium, except for the one place it should be, his mouth.

Oh woe was he, his one hope of surviving this very dull (in his opinion, everyone's got a different one) event.

"Roxas, how on earth will I survive this game now, I can't go on with ought my beloved ice cream," He whined.

"… Axel… you could just get a new one," Roxas pointed out using the common sense that had been knocked out of Axel momentarily… well if he had any to begin with anyway.

"Oh," Axel said looking up like the world was now a much brighter place.

"This way," Roxas pointed down the stadium stairs to the entrance where they sold all of the refreshments and the large overpriced souvenirs.

Axel nodded and got up, and fallowed his friend down the stadium stairs. He jumped a little as he heard another baseball crash into the roof of the stadium… his poor ice cream had met an unfortunate end.

The two boys walked past the popcorn stand, and past the hot dogs, only to find… the place where the ice cream stand had been was gone.

"It's gone," Axel said in an irritated voice, pointing at the obviously empty space where the ice cream stand had been.

"Ohhhh it is I didn't notice," Roxas replied sarcastically while tapping one foot on the ground impatiently. Oh how easy it would be to walk right out of the stadium and run home. But no, Axel had promised his Mommy that they would stay (she had threatened to take away his lighter… again).

Axel looked around franticly trying to find a possible alternate location of the ice cream stand. His eyes caught a black door.

"Maybe there is more food and carts behind that door," He suggested.

"Hmmmm maybe," Roxas agreed, and the two opened and walked through the door, completely failing to notice the sign next to it that proclaimed "DO NOT ENTER" I bet it doesn't even surprise the readers that they didn't pay attention to the sign.

They walked into the room, which was dark, seeing as how they hadn't turned on the lights. In the not so bright room, they could make out a few cardboard boxes labeled _**Post-Game Fireworks**_ in sloppy hand righting.

"Axel… this doesn't seem to be a food service area," Roxas said, knowing that Axel would have his heart set on setting of those fireworks. As much as the idea made him very happy, this wasn't quite like burning underwear, or setting off tiny explosives in neighbor's mailboxes… this was a lawsuit waiting to happen. Roxas wasn't in a 'lets go get our asses' sued' mood.

Axel responded to him with a blank look. How could Roxas even THINK of passing an opportunity like this? Professional fireworks were not easy to find in Twilight Town.

"Ok, Fine, but after we light them, were getting out of here… I'm not in a getting sued mood," Roxas said, Axel laughed and took some of the fireworks out of the boxes and lined them up.

Above them there was a hole in the ceiling, presumably where the fireworks would go so they could be set off into the sky. The two made sure that they were lined up correctly under the opening in the ceiling.

"No one is going to be expecting fireworks this early in the game," Axel said with a malicious grin, "they will probably think were under attack when they first hear them".

"… Did you make it your life mission to go around and try to give people heart attacks, because that's how it seems," Roxas shook his head. Although he was the slightly calmer, and more down to earth person in their friendship, he had to admit, he enjoyed their schemes (if you can call them schemes… it would be more accurate to label them as "things to land you in the loony bin").

The fireworks were all set up and the two were admiring their work. Now all that they had to do was light them and run (RUN FOREST RUN… had to put that in).

"Ok, ready," Roxas said, after checking to make sure that the fireworks were in order. Axel nodded and reached into his pocket, pulling out his Mickey Mouse lighter… Mickey is awesome, don't doubt it.

He leaned over and lit the fuse of each soon to be explosion in the sky. They had fifteen seconds to hightail it out of there before the fireworks went off, and they didn't waist anytime. Wanting to see the display themselves, they dashed out the small room and ran up the stairs leading to the seats and the baseball stadium. Not a second after they reached the platform, there was a screeching in the sky.

They looked up as they saw the night burst into a array of colors… Roxas vaguely wondered if it was safe to set off all of the fireworks at the same time… well no one seemed to be dead… that was a good sigh.

As expected, when the first fireworks went off everyone panicked and held their hands over there heads. One particularly frail lazy fainted, her face landing right in her mustard covered hot dog… ewwww.

"DAMN YOU COMMIES," an old, senile man shouted shaking his fists at the sky.

"Its only fireworks…" a girl sitting next to the senile guy stated.

Meanwhile Roxas and Axel where entranced by the utter shiny-ness of the fireworks. But unfortunately for them the shiny-ness disappeared after a few seconds.

Everyone in the crowd was looking around confused about what had just happened, it was common knowledge that fireworks went off at the end of the game, not the middle. Roxas and Axel were not so surprisingly in good moods. They thought confusion among the people was pretty funny… they really needed to get a more sane sense of humor.

So the two sat down and watched the rest of the game, reenacting the entire event with dramatic hand motions.

The next day

Axel's mom sat at the kitchen table, a copy of the Twilight Town Post was folded neatly in her hands. The front cover read _**Mysterious Fireworks At Baseball Game**_, where was her beloved Axel she wondered… she had a little something that she had to ask him (CoughyellCough).

"Axel… Come down to breakfast, I made pancakes," She said in the sweetest voice she could muster.

Hearing the words pancakes Axel bolted down from his room, clad in his brown Mickey Mouse printed pj's and matching slippers… do not question the awesomeness of Mickey. He had an eager look on his face, expecting to see the wonderful food that is pancakes. But instead found his Mom with an unreadable expression on her face, tightly clutching a newspaper in her hands.

Its true…Mom's can indeed; find out everything, whether they want to or not.

"Shit," Axel mumbled softly under his breath hoping his Mom didn't hear.

A/n heh I love the last part. This one was ok, not my best, but I just felt like writing SOMETHING. Anyone else ever get that feeling? As for the fireworks being set off at the same time, I wouldn't recommend it… heh I really don't know much about fireworks, so you probably shouldn't use anything in this story as a guide to them. Now that I think about it… you really shouldn't do anything in this story at all. I hope you liked it. Reviewers get Nexlei's famous nonexistent cookies!!!


	4. The Struggle

Me: An update

Riku: Nexlei does not own Kingdom hearts or any other random references

Me: yep

The Struggle

Though stereotypical in its origins, it was a common fact that men loved sports. Sports of all kinds were the way the male half of the population enjoyed spending their time. They would dedicate hours to practicing their favorite sports and suffer to the point of exhaustion, they would destroy their voices for a week but for the chance to yell at a ref for an unfair call and of course they would spend an unlimited amount of time discussing sports with their friends.

This was not to say though, that the female population did not like sports, to the contrary they did, though they had something called boundaries. The little line between enjoyment and obsession was always very clear to them, while to their counterparts, not so much.

Roxas was not the typical boy in most matters. He wore to much black for his own good, ate too much candy for him to possibly be as thin as he was, and of course loved fire almost as much as his dear friend Axel. How he had such a flowery girlfriend was a mystery to everyone.

Though, in one way, he was exactly like other boys. His intense love of sports… well one sport in particular. The Struggle. Roxas loved everything about The Struggle, the heat of the competition, the fighting and of course the spotlight of "totally owning some lamers".

"Tell me again what is so damn exciting about this?" Axel asked his best friend a week before The Struggle tournament.

"The heat, the action, the…" Roxas was cut off before he could finish his sentence.

"Yeah yeah, whatever you just like knocking the balls of some guy," Axel's catch fraise. He was not as into The Struggle, as he was not into Sea- Salt ice cream. Axel had been born in another town, which was usually the reason attributed to his lack of love for Twilight Town's many quirks.

"For the last time…" Roxas began, but was again cut off.

"I know you're not gay,"

"I like the sport for it's…"

"I know exactly why you like the sport, you've repeated it eighteen times already," Axel told his friend a little annoyed. Every year around this time, all of Roxas's attention would be diverted from their scheming and pranks to The Struggle. Of course, it was not in his nature to stop his best friend from doing what made him happy, but of course it was also not in his nature to tolerate rants about it all day. That was a little too far.

"You realize that summer vacation is almost over right?" Axel asked him, the two sat on top of the roof of a local store, overlooking the main town.

"No shit," Roxas put rather eloquently.

"That the date today is August 17th?" Axel added trying to instill into his friend a sense of their impending doom, school.

"WAIT…" Roxas suddenly shouted out.

"What?" Axel asked alarmed, and wondering if they were under attack.

"So today is August 17th and the struggle is in one week…" Roxas started… , "So that would make it on…"

"Seventeen plus seven equals" Axel spelled it out for his friend not understanding his sudden panic.

"Oh shit,"

"You say shit too often, you should mix it up more, you know there's crap, damn, f…"

"I know all the words, but… August 24th…" Roxas looked more worried than usual.

"Yes?" Axel asked.

"Namine is coming, I promised to show her the town and ice cream and stuff, but I can't on the day of the struggle" Roxas said.

"You could bring her with you," Axel said.

"But wouldn't she think it was boring?" Roxas asked his friend.

"Well, she's your girlfriend, not mine so how should I know," Axel said.

"I know," Roxas suddenly shouted out.

"I could actually see a light bulb over your head that time," Axel pointed out.

"Shut up,"

"What's your brilliant plan?" Axel asked.

"You could distract her all day… and I could win The Struggle and than still have time to take her out for dinner," Roxas pointed out.

"That's not being a very good boyfriend…" Axel said.

"Who are you to judge, your idea of a romantic date is a blow torch and some marshmallows," Roxas pointed out.

"Ok, that one may not have ended very well, but at least I know better than to dump my girlfriend on my best friend while I go participate in some beauty pageant," Axel said.

"The Struggle is not a beauty pageant," Roxas announced to his friend.

"I think you missed the entire point…"

"No I get it, but besides that, The Struggle is a beautiful sport, but not a beauty pageant…"

"You are undeserving of any girl's affections," Axel bluntly told his best friend.

"Maybe, but I'll still take her out for dinner right?" Roxas said.

"Yeah, but still, you are breaking a promise and it would be much easier to just take her to The Stuggle," Axel said.

"She would hate it,"

"Who cares, it's supposed to be you who she likes right," Axel announced and almost slapped himself for saying such a pathetically sappy thing.

"Does it really matter, I just don't want to bore her," Roxas told his friend with a defeated sigh.

"You should just not play in The Struggle this year," Axel suggested, though knowing that his friend would never on his life agree to that, reasonable ideas were always good to mention even if they were going to be completely ignored, that way when the person in question failed miserably one would be able to rub it in their face more effectively.

"Please just distract Namine for one day,"

"Fine," Axel agreed, knowing well enough that it would be an easier task to do than to put up with Roxas's constant whining.

"Thank you so much," Roxas looked like it was Christmas. Axel shook his head and looked at the sky.

"You are such a dumbass," Was all that Axel said and the two continued to loiter on top of the building.

insert dramatic music here for the dramatic time skip

It was the day of the Struggle, Roxas was woken up way to early to be allowed. For him, this was around ten O'clock. But Axel was not one to judge as he waited for his lazy friend to get out of bed.

"You know, Namine's going to be here in a half an hour," Axel said.

"How the hell did you get in here anyway?" Roxas mumbled.

"Your mom let me in" Axel sighed, "Namine…"

"So," Roxas mumbled through his pillow,"

"You're going to have to put on the attentive boyfriend show that won her heart," Axel told his friend with a snicker, looking out the window and half expecting to see the girl already there. He had actually never met her before, Roxas had simply arrived home, from summer camp and informed Axel that he had somehow gotten a girlfriend. Axel, though he would never say it aloud, suspected there was witchcraft involved. Roxas was to shy around girls he liked for his own good. And the one's he didn't like, well they may as well have not existed at all.

Though, as his friend, he was a little surprised that he had been so completely inattentive to his girlfriend as to dump her on him of all people. He never though Roxas to be the uncaring kind of person. But being his friend, he could sometimes piece together the scattered and always illogical thoughts in Roxas's head. He wanted to be in the Struggle and he though his bonnie lass (Axel had been watching pirates of the Caribbean) would not like it, so he was doing her a favor.

Of course, in the real world that made absolutely no sense.

"Just get ready, you have your pageant to win…"

"Fine," Roxas must have been very tired as he did not violently kick his friend for insulting his favorite sport.

No sooner was Roxas ready for the day and seated on the couch, anxiously than a car pulled up into his driveway.

He turned around and peered through the window, there was his girlfriend.

"WAIT," Axel nearly shouted.

"What," Roxas asked panicked that Axel would back out of the plan at last second.

"She's not that bad looking," Axel said shocked that Roxas had managed to get a girlfriend like that.

"If you so much as…"

"Dude, I'm shocked, how did you even ask her out, you're like jello with pretty girls like that,"

"She isn't a pretty girl," Roxas shouted.

"Did you just insult your own girlfriend?" Axel questioned a little surprised that Roxas would call her not pretty, she was pretty.

"No, I mean, just because she's blonde doesn't mean she's one of those stupid pretty girls, she's actually smart," Roxas started rambling.

"Well I meant the literal pretty thing, not the insult," Axel sighed. Namine knocked on the door and Roxas jumped up to get it, "Strange how you're so eager to see the girl you are about to dump on your best friend,"

Roxas did not hear this comment, he was already answering the door. Axel, trotted to the entrance hall, just in time to see the blonde come bounding through the door and into his undeserving friends arms. When she kissed him he almost rolled his eyes.

They pulled apart and Roxas turned to Axel.

"Namine," He addressed her tenderly, Axel bit the inside of his mouth, it was funny to hear Roxas addressing anyone without a hint of sarcasm, let alone sweetly "This is my best friend Axel," She smiled at him kindly.

"Hello," The blonde said, she seemed a little shy. He nodded his head back at her for a greeting. Roxas sent him a glare that demanded he actually say hello. As fun as those 'cool' nods were, Roxas was not willing to accept it.

"Hi," Axel spoke. Roxas smiled and they moved into the living room, where the plan would start.

"Have you heard from Kairi and Sora," Roxas figured that it would be easier to make small talk before starting the plan… he did after all, have ten minutes before he needed to be at the struggle. That gave him three for talking, one for escaping out the back of his house and six for a mad dash across town.

"Kairi emailed me the other day, they are still just as in love with each other as they were when we saw them,"

"That's good," Roxas nodded.

"Yes it is," Axel agreed, having no idea who this other couple was. Probably some people from Roxas's stupid summer camp. Stories from that damn place were sounding more and more like the reruns of the love boat he had seen the more he heard them.

"Do you even know them…" Namine caught on.

"Nope,"

"You know what would be really good right now… Ice cream," Roxas announced to the two in a voice so dramatic, it was obviously planned out.

"That would be good," Namine said, "Could it be that Sea- Salt kind that you always talk about,"

"Yeah sure…" Roxas glanced at Axel, who hated Sea- Salt ice cream and smiled.

"Yay," Axel could not hide the sarcasm.

"You know what… I forgot to print out a homework assignment…"

"It's summer," Namine said confused.

"Yeah, my school is evil, they make us submit essays in them middle of the summer…"

"Absolutely horrible," Axel said, referring the mere idea of summer homework, which they really had and the fact that that was the worst excuse to leave the room that he had ever heard. How easy was it to print something later.

"You guys better get ice cream without me… I'll follow you when I'm done,"

"We could just wait…" Namine suggested.

"No… it's ok,"

"Fine," Namine said, disappointed at not getting to spend every second of the day with her boyfriend, though his friend seemed like an interesting enough person. If not slightly sardonic.

"Let's go," Axel glanced at his watch. Namine, of course, had to go give Roxas a goodbye kiss, and than she and Axel left the house.

"So is this Sea-salt ice cream any good?" She asked.

"If you haven't eaten in three weeks, I'm sure it's plenty good," Axel told her.

"Roxas said everyone loves it," Namine said, the two were walking down the streets leading from the houses of Twilight Town, to the plaza. Where the Sea- Salt ice cream was located.

"Well, I guess almost everyone does," Axel told her of the entire town being utterly obsessed with it and how it was a little bit scary.

"It must be good than," Namine said, she had heard how insane the town went when they had to go without sea salt ice cream for an entire week.

They walked up to the Sea-Salt ice cream stand and bought two popsicles. Axel was only eating one to be polite.

Namine took one lick before she started gagging. Axel laughed.

"I told you it wasn't good," He told her,

"But Roxas said…"

"I could never understand why everyone liked this stuff," Axel said, "At least I know I'm not insane now,"

"How could anyone like this?" She asked. The next fifteen minutes or so were spent discussing how any town could be so in love with something that tasted that horrible, twilight town passerbys of course stared at them like they were committing heathenness crimes, saying that sea salt ice cream wasn't good.

"Where is Roxas, shouldn't he have caught up by now?" Namine asked. Of course, Axel knew that by this time, Roxas was already at the sandlot, maybe even playing that stupid game already.

"Idiot probably jammed the printer again," Axel said.

"We should go back and help him," Namine said, jumping off the bench they had been sitting on.

"Ok," Axel said, there was no way Roxas was in the house, so when they got there she would just assume that he had gone out to meet them, and they had just missed each other.

This was exactly how it played out.

"Well, we could go looking for him," Axel said after finding the house to be empty.

"Ok," Namine said, "We'd better go to the Sea- Salt ice cream stand first, we must have practically passed him on the way here,"

"Yeah…"

So they ran back to the sea-salt ice cream stand. Lo and behold, Roxas was nowhere to be found. Namine looked confused and Axel sighed at the start of a long day.

"Maybe he thought we were going to the other ice cream stand…" Axel said, there were just two Sea- Salt ice cream stands in twilight town. One was by the train station, and the other was in the plaza. The one by the train station was about as far from the sandlot, where the struggle was being held, as one could get. Not to mention, if he took the long way, it could take them a long time to get there. Thus killing more time.

"Ok, where is it?" Namine asked.

"Up this hill…" Axel pointed up the somewhat steep road, and the two started climbing it. Axel stopping every few steps to point out buildings and in the slowest way possible give a detailed history of each. Finally those stupid summer projects were coming in handy, he at least was well versed in Twilight Town history.

"And through that crack, you can walk outside of the city and there is a freaky looking haunted mansion…"

"Axel… you've pointed out that crack three times… are we going in a circle…?" Namine asked.

"No… Twilight Town is just filled with identical freaky cracks in random walls… they all lead to freaky mansions where freaky old men in freaky red cloths live,"

"Ok…"

Axel decided that it was time to actually start heading for the other stand… any more times around the square and she would defiantly notice. So up the hill they went.

"And that's the tree where the old lady's cat got stuck last week," Axel pointed to a tree.

"How… fascinating,"

"Yeah, Roxas was the one who saved it," Axel told her… coming to a complete stop and seeing this opportunity.

"Really?" Namine seemed suddenly interested.

"Yeah, he can be a really nice person like that" Axel said.

"Yeah," Namine looked over at the tree with a happy expression, before heading up the hill apparently even more excited to see her boyfriend, the hero of kittens across the country.

"Namine slow down," Axel whined. She did and they continued up the hill at a regular pace.

It took them about an hour total to get to the sea salt ice cream stand near the train station. Axel was quite proud of himself for turning something that usually took fifteen minutes into an hour.

Roxas was nowhere to be seen of course. Namine looked worried. How could they possibly have lost track of her boyfriend… this wasn't a big town.

Axel's mind was busy thinking of some other plan to distract her. He came up with just the thing… thirty flights of stairs…

"Namine… see that big clock tower on the train station…?" He asked her.

"Yeah, why?" She asked.

"Well, it is Roxas's favorite spot in all of Twilight Town," He told her. She looked up at the tower… it was pretty high.

"Really,"

"He may have gone up there," Axel suggested and nudged his head up to the top.

"We should look," Namine fell for it. Axel smiled and nodded his head enthusiastically. He wasn't particularity keen on going up thirty flights of stairs… but the elevator was just to fast.

"This way," He showed the back entrance to the train station and into a door leading to stairs… endless stairs.

"Uh, isn't there an elevator?" She asked.

"Heh no," Axel said and started up the stairs, "The tower builder, he's real cheap you see… and umm an exercise nut,".

"Stairs suck," She mumbled under her breath before following him. Up and up and up and up, thirty flights of stairs the two climbed. Not exactly an enjoyable experience. But it did take them a good fifteen minutes or more… for this, Axel was very happy.

They walked out the door, to a spectacular view of the entire city. No Roxas in sight, but the view was to amazing to pass up, so Namine walked forward and looked out at the city.

"What an awesome view," She said, Axel chuckled a little and agreed, preparing a speech on every landmark in sight. "Hey what's going on over there?" She asked. Pointing to an area, almost a strait line downhill from there point, where many people were gathered.

"Maybe someone lit a mailbox on fire again…" He did not mention this was impossible, as he was standing right next to her and Roxas was at the struggle. They were, truly, the only ones insane enough to start mailbox fires in the first place and informing Namine of this would more than likely put Roxas in more hot water than he already was

"No… look, they are standing around a square… hey maybe it is a competition of some sort," Namine said.

"No… you know, people here like square dancing… that could be it"

"Square dancing isn't like that," Namine said.

"Maybe… ,"

"Maybe Roxas is there," Axel looked horrified.

"Why would your boyfriend be square dancing when he was spending the day with you?" Axel laughed nervously.

"He could be looking for me there…"

"Yeah… he could be," Axel said, "Do you like square dancing?"

"No… but…well, let's go," Namine turned and started heading towards the stairs when something caught her eye, "Wait… there is an elevator,"

"What, when did they put that in?" Axel asked. Namine was glaring at him, a little bit miffed that they had walked up thirty flights of stairs for nothing.

Namine shook her head, wondering just what was wrong with Roxas's friend and pushed the button for the elevator, which appeared minutes later.

Once they were on the ground, she made a beeline down the hill for the spot where she had seen all the commotion.

"Hey… do you know where you are going?" Axel asked, hoping for a chance to lead them off track.

"It's just a strait line… and no offence, but you have the sense of direction of a jar of ketchup," Namine said. Axel raised his eyebrows. He had been called many things, but he had never been compared to ketchup before.

"Yeah, I try," Axel said.

"So we were purposely going in circles before," Namine asked as she increased her already fast pace down the hill.

"What… no why would I do that,"

"I don't know," Namine said truthfully, though she obviously had an idea that something strange was going on. Axel didn't particularly want his friend to get in trouble, so he tried again.

"Maybe he went back to his house to wait for you…"

"No let's just go to that competition," Namine said. They had already reached the plaza

"I thought it was square…,"

"It looks like a competition,".

"Really, he is probably at home," Axel said, "You don't want to watch as they put out a stupid mailbox fire right… that's probably all it is…"

"Roxas likes fire, he might be there," Namine said.

"But his house…"

Namine sent him a glare and he was silenced. They walked into the very crowded sandlot, and made their way through the crowd to the square just in time to see Roxas win a match against a boy with funny yellow hair.

"Come on back here, I'll explain," Axel sighed as he motioned for Namine to follow him to the back of the crowd where Roxas couldn't see, it was best not to make him panic yet.

"Every year they hold a Struggle tournament in Twilight Town… you know what the Struggle is right?" Axel asked the girl once they were safely out of sight.

"Of course I'm pretty awesome at it myself," She grinned.

"Right… So your wonderful boyfriend Roxas loves The Struggle and he accidentally made your date on the day of the tournament… he thought you would hate it, but he couldn't miss it, so he told me to distract you all day,"

"Really…" Namine looked angry.

"Look, he really cares about you and all, he just didn't want you to be bored and he couldn't possibly cancel your date for something like this… that would seem shallow,"

"Shallow, like having his best friend baby-sit me all day,"

"If it makes it any better he was going to take you out for dinner," Axel put in. Namine was still frowning.

"Is there still time to sign up?" She asked suddenly.

"Sign up…? For what?" Axel asked.

"The Struggle," Namine said. Axel looked at her like she had three heads.

"Maybe…" He told her.

"Good, and I'll be needing to borrow that hoodie," She pointed to Axel's trademark black hoodie.

………………………………………………………………………….

It had been easy getting through the first few rounds. Nothing but civilians who had never held a struggle stick in their entire lives. The next few had some idea what they were doing, which made them even more easy to beat, and than came the ones who really knew what they were doing. They went down without much of a fight.

With her blonde hair in a pony tail and a hood covering most of her face, it was impossible to tell who she was, Axel hung back in the crowd and watched as she totally demolished all of the competition, with a look of awe on his face. Now this girl brought the sport to an art form.

Roxas was doing just as well. A match made in heaven, Axel laughed,

Steadily names were erased off the chalk board, until there were only two left. Roxas had just defeated some guy named Seifer, and it was only him and the hooded guy that no one could beat.

Roxas jumped on the platform, eager to win the last match and get the glory, the spotlight and the trophy with all of the colorful balls.

Namine walked forward, ready to jump onto the platform as well, when there was a tug on her sleeve, Axel. She turned around.

"Knock the balls off of him," He said just above a whisper and in the most serious voice she had heard from him thus far. She smiled and stifled her laughter as she turned several shades of red and jumped onto the platform, intending to do just what Axel said.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, the moment you've all been waiting for, the final completion…" The announcer started. Roxas and Namine walked towards each other, they were standing just a few feet apart, each holding their stick in a ready position, "Ready…. Struggle," The announcer said.

Roxas hadn't had a chance to move Namine knocked him with her stick three times, making him loose nearly half his balls. He swung at her, but she rolled to the side picking up the balls he had dropped. She was in the lead. If he couldn't land another strike on her for the rest of the game… she was winner by default.

But being winner by default was not as much fun. She came at him again, allowing him to hit her once, so she could get in a combo, gaining back all that she had lost.

He was gritting his teeth, obviously not happy with the way the game was going. She was maybe, three hits from winning and the time wasn't even halfway up yet.

With tremendous speed he lunged at her, not wanting to be knocked over alone, she grabbed his wrist, brining him down on top of her.

He had a look of the utmost shock when he looked down at her. She looked back perplexed at him for a moment before realizing that her hood had fallen off. Cover blown…

"Roxas," She said as a way of greeting, before knocking him off of her and jumping to her feet. Despite his utter shock, Roxas was back on his feet in a matter of seconds.

"Namine…" He said back, biting his lip, he knew he was in trouble.

"I'd like to thank you for the babysitter," She told him

"I told him to be more of a tour guide…" Roxas said. They were circling each other, undecided who would attack first.

"Well, he did manage to give me a detailed history of every nook in the town," Namine told him humorlessly.

"I'm sorry… I didn't know you could struggle," Roxas said. She suddenly lunged at him. He dodged.

"Maybe if you spent real time with me, you would have known," Namine said. He did not reply, as she moved with a speed she had acquired from who knows where, she delivered another combo attack and Roxas was ball-less.

In three seconds she had collected them and won the game.

Once the confetti and cheering had died down, she collected her trophy and walked to the back of the crowd.

Roxas followed, looking terribly defeated and ball-less.

Axel gave Namine a high five, and Roxas looked down.

"I'm sorry Namine," He told her. She glanced back at him and laughed.

"You should be,"

"I promise, I'll never do anything stupid or deceiving again," He told her. She shook her head and walked away from the mass of people. Axel followed after her.

"Hey… listen," he called.

"What," She turned around.

"He really cares about you," Axel said.

"And how could you tell that?" Namine asked, "I can't tell,"

"If he didn't he would be way more torn up about loosing the Struggle than he would about you hating him," Axel pointed out.

"I don't hate him…"

Namine turned back around and walked towards the crowd where Roxas was sitting looking rather defeated, on the edge of the Struggle platform.

"Hey looser," She called to him he looked up, "No hard feelings," She said, before closing the distance between their lips.

Needless to say the next morning, Twilight Town's newspaper printed an article titled "The Struggle: Love and War" with a picture of the two kissing on the front page.

a/n This idea has been in my head for a while now. Not exactly the funniest chapter, but I think there is some irony. Anyway, I didn't actually start typing it until the line Axel says to Namine "Knock the balls off of him" popped into my head. Than I was like… write… now…

That's the story. Reviews would be appreciated. Reviewers get nonexistent cookies!


	5. Never Again

Me: Welcome to the… I think it's the fifth chapter

Riku: Nexlei does not own Kingdom Hearts or any other random references

Me: Riku is still my bitch

Riku: But she doesn't own me

Me: Nope. And you're not even in this story. I should get Axel to do the disclaimer next time.

Riku: You should put me in this story

Me: no I really can't see it happening. Though stories usually do jump in popularity at the mention of Riku…

Riku: Whoo hoo. Finally the light within the darkness.

Me: but still no

Chapter Five

Never Again

It was one of those awful summer days: the sun blared down endlessly, hitting innocent bystanders right in the eye and blinding them until they were forced to buy a pair of expensive sunglasses. Said sunglasses were always sold on a small stand in the plaza, right next to the creepy girl who ran the stand dubbed by locals as the 'creepy condom cart'. The man who thought of that one was sure to point out his brilliant alliteration to everyone he met for the next week and a half. But that's a small town for you.

The weather had not changed all week. There was not a cloud in the sky and the only form of cover for any of the residents of Twilight Town was the strange infestation of pigeon. The queer little birds had somehow infiltrated the city and managed to reproduce at a rate far proceeding the speed at which nature could naturally select them out. A.k.a. they were spawning way faster then they were dying and it was causing a bird problem.

Not only did those wicked little birds squeak like dying raccoons (at every hour of the day; they seemed to have worked out a shift system. Twilight Town residents had even deduced that some of them had formed a Squeakers Union to insure the benefit of health and dental insurance to all of the noisy little squeakers with spawn to feed.) but they also paid no mind to the direction of their wayward droppings. Walking around with red hair, for example, was not necessarily a target for the animals, but having red hair certainly didn't prevent it either.

"Goddamn, why did I have to be born a ginger?" The reddest red head in the town swore loudly to his best friend as they sat on top of the clock tower. Axel had been forced to go home and take a shower not once, but three times over the course of the week, the most recent of which had been about a half hour ago. The subject was still rather sore.

"They didn't mean it… they're just… birds," Roxas shrugged his shoulders weakly and thanked his lucky stars that he hadn't been hit yet. That was nasty on pretty much every level. What did pigeons eat anyway? Nothing appealing, especially after being digested.

"That's it, I'm calling the Terminator," Axel slammed his fist into his palm in a dignified manner, barley managing to retain a shred after his three encounters with the birds.

"The Govenator?" Good old Arnie.

"What? Not the California guy…"

"Oh, you mean the exterminator… like pest exterminator," Roxas laughed to himself, as Axel thought for a moment before his eyes widened and he realized his mistake.

"Yeah, the exterminator will terminate them. It's perfect," Axel's fist met his hand again and ran with it; who wouldn't?

"Well," Roxas sighed and stretched his arms in a lazy fashion, "I don't think they take care of birds,"

"They would if we paid them enough," Axel pointed out, and Roxas couldn't help but agree. Of course, he had to inform his friend of the fatal flaw in his scheme.

"We've got about thirty five munny combined as of yesterday," Roxas told him, shaking his head and taking a lick of his sea salt ice cream, "You didn't win the lottery did you?"

"No…"

"And we don't want those freaky vegetarians at the humane society to get involved _again_ do we…"

"I saw on a commercial once that vegetarians have better sex…"

"Oh… the banned super bowl one?"

"Yeah"

"Haha, watched that like five times,"

"It was pretty hot, if your dig the vegetable thing…"

"Right, well, let's still rule out the humane society," Roxas continued. After their last encounter it was a wonder there weren't any restraining orders involved. Stupid goldfish. Stupid flammable goldfish… how were they supposed to know that was ethanol not water? They were both getting over terrible colds and couldn't smell it, anyway.

"But I really want revenge…" Axel whined as he watched a flock of pidgins fly past the clock tower in their stupid little formation.

"Axel…" He did not get to finish his sentence.

"Wait!!!" Axel had gotten an idea. Oh, it was pure genius. Two birds with one stone. Literally.

"What?"

"Give me your sea salt ice cream," Axel said excitedly.

Roxas hesitated as he looked at Axel and almost shook his head. This would not end well. But he was bored, and he doubted his friend would harm his precious ice cream.

"Ok," he handed the blue popsicle over and watched as his friend looked at it with disgust.

"How can you eat this?" He asked rhetorically before chucking it with all of his might at a random pigeon, circling ahead. Roxas watched in horror as the unsuspecting bird was hit with his ice cream, and then as said ice cream plummeted the who-knows-how-many stories to the ground.

"What have you done," Roxas asked his friend looking at him like he was a cannibal who had just eaten his babies.

"Stupid bird deserved it."

"I MEANT MY ICE CREAM!" Roxas shouted, only afterwards thinking of the bird , "And that was pretty mean too."

"Stupid bird deserved it," Axel repeated, crossing his arms and smiling an evil smile. Revenge was very sweet. He was almost positive now that the bird that had randomly flown by was not only the bird that had pooed on him that morning, but the other two times as well. Yes, it had had that coming, and victory had never been so wonderful.

"Urg… whatever man."

"If I recall correctly _you_ gave me that ice cream," Axel said informatively, still basking in his victory.

"You… suck."

"Yeah, yeah," Axel sighed and brushed his friend off as easily as he had thrown the ice cream. He may have just saved Roxas from a heart attack: after all there couldn't be anything remotely natural about a salty ice cream. Not to mention the nasty little pigeon wouldn't be pooping on anyone for a long time.

He wasn't exactly sure what had happened to the bird. He knew it probably had a few of its feathers ruffled.

"You're buying me a new ice cream."

"Yeah, yeah."

"You do realize that when school starts in three days you're going to have to expand your vocabulary to include some larger words… you know, more than one syllable?"

"Like 'Axel, got it memorized?'"

"Not that again," Roxas was about to rant about his friend's catch phrase but someone interrupted.

"Oi."

"Now there's a word we should add to our schooltime vocabulary," Axel said dryly, turning around to face the person, hopefully not some pigeon/human freakk, who had made the noise.

There stood a girl, probably the same age as the two boys, with short black hair and a face very reminiscent of one of Roxas's camp friends.

"Kairi did you dye your hair?" Roxas asked the first thing that came to his mind.

"Who's Kairi?" the girl asked impatiently as if he had interrupted what would have been an angry lecture.

"Oh, never mind," Roxas mumbled feebly. The girl did seem a little enraged.

"Just who do you guys think you are anyway?" She asked suddenly. The boys looked at each other for a moment, shrugged their shoulders just enough to be noticed by the girl, before turning back to her.

"Well, I'm Roxas and this is Axel, we like to think of ourselves as the pyromaniac version of the famous Marauders of Hogwarts,"

"Hogwarts? What?"

"You know, 'I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good'…"

"Whatever, I know, Who hasn't read Harry Potter a thousand times?" The girl paused to send an especially mean glare at Axel, who had brought up the reference to start with, "Were you trying to kill someone?" She asked more malice in her voice then it seemed possible for someone who looked so much like Kairi.

"Ummm, no," Roxas answered blankly and turned to his friend to see the same confused look.

"I said Marauders; not murderers," The girl chose to ignore this and proceeded to explain her accusations in a steady voice, while Axel chuckled at his own wit.

"You nearly killed me with this." She held up her left hand to show a broken, dirt covered sea salt ice cream that strangely enough, had a white feather stuck to it. Axel turned to Roxas with a confused expression.

"Ok… I might be crazy, but she is not a pigeon…" Axel said and Roxas nodded in agreement. She was indeed a human. Cheers.

"I was going to go buy a train ticket, when this ice cream fell out of the sky. It missed my head by about three inches… I could be dead," she told them with a menacing look, her foot tapping impatiently on the ground as she waited for their reply.

Axel turned to Roxas and said under his breath "It's a little scary how hot they are when they're angry." Roxas wanted to laugh, but for fear of being pushed off the tower and to his death by that scary chick holding his sea salt ice cream, he was forced to bite his lip.

"Ah, shucks," Axel said sarcastically, "I wasn't aiming for you."

"You deliberately threw it?" The girl looked peeved. She scowled.

"Deliberately isn't the word I'm looking for," Axel replied.

"Then you dropped it?" She asked, looking a little more relaxed at this.

"Not exactly," Roxas piped in. Axel elbowed him.

"What then?"

"Damn it, I was just trying to get revenge on a stupid pigeon," Axel sighed and then rolled his eyes.

"Cruelty to animals much?" The girl said.

"They got me first Miss," was Axel's only reply and the girl eyed him suspiciously.

"Well, If you do it again, I'm gonna call the cops," the girl said indignantly before she turned around to leave. Axel smiled a little before calling after her.

"Oi, what's your name?" He always was very good with words.

"Xion," Came her reply, as she turned around on what he realized was a pair of uncomfortable looking three inch heels. They were leather, too. He smiled a little to himself. "So you must be what… Peter Pettigrew?"

"Axel… A-X-E-L, commit it to memory," He told her slyly, using another one of his catch phrases. It was a little too warm outside not to use them, and if that made sense in Axel's head then it makes sense on the outside of it too.

"Oh, I will," She said, and she did as she was positive that she would have to report him to the authorities; if not today, then someday.

"I'm sure you will," Axel agreed, meaning something else entirely. The girl looked at him with mild interest for a moment as she contemplated his words before turning around and disappearing down the stairs. In her hurry to get away from the boy, she had forgotten the elevator. At least it gave her an excuse to tell her mother, waiting for her below, why her face was so red. Going down the stairs was physical exertion after all, and it had nothing to do with that stupid boy's remark.

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Not much had changed an hour later. The boys had finally given up on sitting on top of the clock tower, as it was simply to hot. The sun was unrelenting and they had decided to head back to the ground and find a nice air conditioned place to do what they did best, loiter.

Loitering was not exactly a professional sport, but it was something that Roxas and Axel excelled at. The years of hard work and dedication had put them on a whole different level. They were both proud of it; if anyone asked, they would have labeled themselves Loiter Gurus.

As they rode the non air conditioned elevator down the tower, Roxas couldn't help but notice that Axel as humming rather loudly. It wasn't that humming was a particularly bad thing to do, but Axel simply didn't hum. Ever. Nor did he hum in a way that was pleasing to the ears. So Roxas made the next obvious move.

"Why the hell are you humming so loud?" He didn't mean for it to sound so irritated. It was the heat getting to him, it made him feel like he had some kind of boy brand PMS. He really needed air conditioning.

"Why the hell would I not be humming?" Was Axel's reply and Roxas shrugged his shoulders in confusion.

"Because, dude, you don't," Roxas sighed. Axel didn't hum. He was _Axel_. Just no. and Axel ignored him as he went back to the chorus of a Disney song. _Disney_?

"Hmmmmhmmmhmhmhmmmhmhm," As Axel continued to hum to himself, Roxas came to the conclustion that he knew the song. If only he hadn't made the next leap. He began to sing.

"Right, right, no chance no way, I won't say it no, no,"

"I won't say I'm in loveeeeeeeeeeee," Axel finished as the elevator opened with a small ding. Roxas, though he was still in astonishment that he had started singing (it was just so catchy, it wasn't really his fault). He came to yet another conclusion. Axel was in… love?

"We just skipped about half of the lyrics," Roxas said as they walked out of the elevator and onto the street.

"Hmmm."

"You like her," Roxas chuckled to himself and shook his head. The information suddenly enough to save him from his heat induced slump.

"Who?"

"You know, crazy, Kairi look alike chick," Roxas continued, looking at a menacing swarm of pigeons that were congregating on the roof of a nearby building. They seemed to be watching Axel with malicious stares. Roxas speed up and Axel followed suit, seeing the birds.

"What, you jealous?" Axel raised an eyebrow and turned to his friend with a smirk. Roxas almost blushed before shaking his head in indignation.

"NO," He answered a little louder then necessary, "Dammit, I just wanted to know if you, you know, need help," Axel almost laughed at the last part. Yes, Roxas knew how to handle girls about as well as he knew how to tame a wild alpaca with rabies. Unfortunately, Axel was not much ahead of him. But he would never, ever admit this.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be alright," Axel continued.

"Hmmm, Well operation Get In Crazy Kairi Look-Alike's pant's START," Roxas pumped his fist in the air and Axel shook his head.

"If I said that about Namine you'd kill me," The redhead pointed out, biting his lip in a rare moment of embarrassment, after all, Roxas had said the plan a little too loud.

"I was joking…"

"Yeah, let's just find her or something" Axel said. His friend looked on with a thoughtful look before pumping his fist in the air yet again and announcing that he had another idea.

"You should buy her flowers," He said it like he was the first male to ever think of it.

"Genius," Axel agreed as the two walked though the entrance to the plaza.

"I think there's a flower shop somewhere near that freaky condom stand," Roxas pointed to the center of the plaza and Axel nodded as he knew the area better then he knew the back of his hand. Roxas just loved to sound like he knew more then everyone else. His peers got used to it.

"Right," They walked to the center of the plaza, the noon sun was still frying everything in its path. In fact, had this new girl quest not come up, the boys may have thought to try to fry an egg on the pavement. They had always wanted to try that.

Axel walked into the small flower store, pleased to find it was air conditioned, while Roxas turned, telling his friend he would meet him outside an a few. He had other business to attend to.

It was very unfortunate that Roxas had inherited such an immature sense of humor. But who was he to go against his DNA? He walked gallantly towards the creepy condom stand.

Perhaps the creepiest part of the stand was the young lady who ran it. She didn't look a day over twenty, had short black hair, and most importantly always wore a green shirt. It was eerie. Had she lived and (well presumably) sold condoms in a bigger city, this may have escaped the notice of the townspeople. But in Twilight Town, everyone passed by her stand nearly every day and the tight knit community allowed for those wonderful rumors or facts as it were, to spread. So she was the creepy condom lady who always wore green. She had become almost a permanent part of the Twilight Town scenery.

Roxas wondered in his free time how she had started selling condoms and why. But even he was smart enough not to ask.

He slinked up the stand, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. He grabbed the first one he saw, which he would later discover to be banana flavored, and paid for it without making eye contact with the creepy lady.

"Have a nice time," The lady winked and Roxas managed a weak smile before shoving the item into his pocket and walking the few meters back to the store. He briefly wondered what would happen if someone had seen him buy the item. At least they would think he was being safe. Safe is good.

Roxas walked into the store to find that Axel was torn. He was torn between two bouquets. One was a bluish color and the other was red. He didn't know the names of the flowers and didn't particularly care so long as they looked pretty.

He decided on a mix of blue and red.

"Really," Roxas sighed, taking one look at the flowers.

"What?" Axel asked.

"The colors of fire."

"The best colors in the world," Axel crowed triumphantly. Roxas sighed and the two left the shop.

"So now we figure out where she is," Roxas said, looking around as if expecting to see her somewhere nearby. She wasn't.

"This might take a while…" Axel sighed dejectedly and looked at the fire colored flowers he had just purchased, wondering if she would even take them.

"Seriously? Anyone here would notice a newcomer… we could even ask the condom lady," Roxas pointed to the green shirted lady standing behind a cart filled to the brim with contraception things.

"No"

"Haha, I think I'll ask anyway," Axel pulled Roxas by a lock of his blond hair, forcing him to follow to the condom cart. "Excuse me miss," Axel put on his best suave look, which really wasn't that difficult for him (except, of course, when he was in front of someone he actually liked).

"Yes?" She asked, as she organized her cart meticulously.

"Have you seen anyone… new today?" He asked her.

"New, at my cart?" her eyes darted to Roxas who looked at a pigeon that sat not too far away and pretended that his cheeks weren't on fire.

"No, I mean… new walking by your cart," Axel said.

"Yeah, dark hair, a little short."

"That's her!" Axel announced with a grin.

"She went into that building" The condom lady pointed across the street, "About twenty minutes ago,"

"Thank you so much!" Axel said nodding his head like a maniac and practically jumping up and down. Roxas was still staring at the pigeon, "Let's go,"

"Right," Roxas said, glad to be moving away from the infamous condom cart and it's owner.

"So, to the building across the street then," Axel said.

"You seem happy," Roxas said, reaching into his pocket for the item he had bought, "I got you something," At least the humiliation of about thirty seconds ago would be worth it.

"What?" Roxas pulled the banana flavored condom out of his pocket and handed it to his friend with a snide grin. Axel looked from the wrapped item in his hand, back to his friend.

"Banana flavored?" Was all he could say before he pocketed the item and promised that he would get his friend back for his little joke. Yet again, if Axel had done this to Roxas, he wouldn't have found it to be quite so funny.

When they reached the other side of the street, they looked up at the sign hanging from the building where Xion supposedly was. Pilates Parlor.

"No."

"Yes."

"Let's just wait for her."

"It could be true love."

"When the hell did you get so sappy?"

"Does it matter."

"Fine."

And thus they went in.

The first thing they were greeted with was a blast of air conditioning and for a split second Roxas decided that this might not have been a bad idea. Then the annoying eighties music came and the thought disappeared.

It was obviously a place deigned for young women looking to retain their nice bodies or fat middle aged wives looking to impress their husbands. The room was a light pink color and there were pictures of flowers and peaceful landscapes hanging on each wall. It wasn't that Roxas wanted to puke, but the flowers were so cheery he felt as if they were mocking him.

A receptionist stood at a white booth in front of them, she herself was in great shape. She smiled a healthy looking smile at them before asking if she could help them.

"Erm… yes…" Was Axel's reply.

"Well."

"When does the next… thing start," He asked her looking around at the uncomfortable picture s of flowers.

"The last session of the day starts in about five minutes," The women replied with a smile.

"Right… how much for two?" he asked her.

"Twenty munny,"

"That's pretty much all of our munny…" Roxas complained, and Axel brushed him off.

"We'll take it," he told the girl. Apparently just waiting outside for the girl wouldn't do. They handed the girl the money and were ushered into a back room that contained about ten others already, including the Kairi look alike.

"There she is." Axel smiled to himself. Roxas looked at him and wondered if he looked that dumb when Namine was around. Probably not.

"Well, are you going to say hi?" Roxas sighed and shoved his friend forward a little. Axel twitched a little, nervous, and walked forward to meet the girl.

"Fancy seeing you here," he couldn't think of anything better to say. She looked up at him and furrowed her eyebrows in surprise. He glanced down, noticing she had changed into a pair of shorts and a tee shirt, no more heels.

"Nice flowers," She commented snidely. Axel had forgotten about the flowers completely and he looked down and realized that he was still holding them.

"Right, they're for you… for the near death experience…"

"Like an apology?" She questioned, taking the flowers and examining them.

"Yeah," He replied and she nodded her head coolly.

"Is that why you came here?"

"No," He shook his head, "I'm just a big fan of this… stuff,"

"Oh," She replied and glanced down at the flowers again, "They remind me of fire," Axel was sure he was in love.

"Really? Me too," he said a little to excitedly. She looked at him with one eyebrow raised and he calmed down, "You know, I love fire,"

"That's nice," She said, and turned around to put her flowers by her bag that sat in the corner of the room. Axel followed, acting more like a lost puppy by the second. The fire comment had really done him in.

"Yes?" She asked him, when she noticed he had followed.

"Well… I was wondering… if you would like to go out with me sometime." He asked, managing to say it in a collected voice, when the stuttering was disregarded.

It wasn't as if he had any real chance of being accepted in the first place, but to make matters worse, Axel lost his coordination and tripped on a bag that had been left on the floor. Needless to say that cute banana flavored condom came rolling out of his pocket.

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Axel's list of things he dislikes

gravity

pigeons

sea salt ice cream

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The look on the girls face when she saw that small item was beyond priceless. Axel knew what was coming, and wasn't surprised when he felt her kick him right in the stomach. Hard. He scrambled away before she could kick him elsewhere.

Roxas, being the ever supportive friend, was torn between laughing his ass off and blushing for his friend. He settled on saving his friend a little bit of trouble. It had been his joke afterall.

"Eh… that would be mine," Roxas stepped in.

"HE had it," Xion pointed out, "are you two… together,"

"Huh?" Axel looked baffled, even through the pain.

"No, I mean, he bought it for me, I was to nervous to get anywhere near that creepy condom lady,"

"What?" The girl asked, and the boys remembered that she had no idea who the creepy condom lady was.

"Well, the point is it's mine, not his," Roxas said and Axel was sure that he had never loved, platonically of course, his best friend so much.

"Just go away."

"Ok."

Unfortunately for the boys, the instructor walked in just as they were about to make their pathetic exit and they were forced to endure Pilates. The two boys swore to never enter the building again as long as they lived. No matter how air conditioned it was, or even how many hot chicks were hanging out in there. Stretching… wearing those short shorts… no, no, no. They would never go in again.

a/n well this chapter has been in production (like a movie haha) for a while. I actually got a beta. I know. I know. Shock. I hope you've enjoyed it. Hopefully another will be up soon. Review.


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